留学申请文书写作常见错误分析怎么写（留学申请文书写作常见错误分析）

编者按：1）原句：Intheschool,MissLialwaysbeenaninspiringsourceofhelpandsupportformeandothersthroughouttheyear...1）原句：Intheschool,MissLialwaysbeenaninspiringsourceofhelpandsupportformeandothersthroughouttheyears.

编辑分析：“alwaysbeen”Incorrecttenseormissingword.“throughouttheyears”Flowsbetteratthebeginningofthesentence.“meandothers”Readsawkwardly.

改正后：Throughouttheyears,MissLihasalwaysprovidedaninvaluablesourceofassistanceandsupporttomany,includingmyself.

（2）原句：MissLiisnotonlyamechanicalteacherbutalsoinchargeofcomputerlab.

编辑分析：“isnotonly”Limittheuseoftheweak‘tobe’verbs.“mechanicalteacher”Canthismorespecific?“inchargeof”Directs.

改正后：MissLinotonlyteachesmechanics,butalsodirectsthecomputerlab.

（3）原句：Althoughherworkisnumerous,shetackledeverytask,nomatterhowtrivialormonotonous,withgreatpatienceandmeticulouscare.But,withhercreativemind,shewasnevercontentwithmerelydoingherjob,either.

编辑分析：“isnumerous”Awkward.“But,withher…”Awkwardtransition.‘But’doesnotworkwellatthebeginningofthesentencehere.

改正后：Inspiteofanimmenseworkload,shetackledeverytask,nomatterhowtrivialormonotonous,withgreatpatienceandmeticulouscare.Moreover,drivenbyhercreativemind,sheneversettledwithmerelycompletionofherjob.

（4）原句：Oncetheproblemscamein,shethoughtthemfromuniqueanglesandputforwardmanygoodideastosolvethem.

编辑分析：“putforward”Betterword…presented…suggested…

改正后：Onceawareoftheproblems,sheattackedthemfromuniqueanglesandpresentedmanypracticalandnovelsolutions.

（5）原句：FacingtheconflictbetweentheshorthandoftheschoolandTOEFL,shechosetoinstructherstudentstofinishthecoursesofMechanicalCAD.

编辑分析：“Facingtheconflict…”Thissentenceissomewhatunclear,especiallyuponthefirstreading.Ihaveattemptedtoclarifythesituation.

改正后：FacingaconflictbetweentheneedtotakeonextraresponsibilitiestoalleviateashortageofteachersattheschoolandpreparingfortheTOEFL,shechosetoinstructstudentsincoursesofMechanicalCAD.

（6）原句：ItisevidentthatburdenofworkeffectedherpreparationforTOEFL,becauseshegotGRE2100underlesspressurefromwork.

编辑分析：“Itisevident”Ihaverephrasedforclarityandimprovedflow.“effected”affected.

改正后：ThatburdenofincreasedworknegativelyaffectedherpreparationforTOEFL,asdemonstratedbyhersignificantlybetterscoreontheGREwhenshefacedlesspressurefromwork.

（7）原句：Whenshedecidedtoleaveus,althoughI,asdirectorofthisschool,hatetolethergo,Iwouldliketorenewmysupportforhertoday,asshesetshereyesonstillgranderhorizons.

编辑分析：“I,asdirector…”Iisunnecessaryandconfusesthesentence.

改正后：Whenshedecidedtoleaveus,thoughasdirectorofthisschoolIhatetoseehergo,Iofferedmyfullsupport.Iwouldliketorenewmysupportforhertoday,asshesetshereyesonstillgranderhorizons.

（8）原句：Idearlyhopethatyouwillconsiderhisapplicationfavorably.

编辑分析：“dearlyhope”sincerely.“considerhisapplication”herapplication.Youhavereferredtotherecommendedteacheras‘she’and‘miss’throughout.

改正后：Isincerelyhopethatyouwillconsiderherapplicationfavorablyandamconfidentyouwillbeenlightenedbyhertalentsatyourschool.

总体评论：

千疮百孔的英文，语法错误、用词不当、句子结构不恰当，都可以分散阅读者的注意力，给阅读者造成误解，无法看懂你究竟要说什么。要知道评审委员要阅读上百份申请材料，你的错误可能使他（她）丧失对你的兴趣和信心。

在申请文书写作中应当注意：

使用正确的英语写作

要坚持使用明确、直接和具体的表达方式

删除不必要的词汇和语句

坚持使用主动语态

避免柔和、无色彩、犹豫和不果断的语言。

语法错误经过反复的阅读是可以更正的，但是用词不当和句子结构不恰当的毛病改正起来则比较困难，对于英语不是母语的人士来说，需要长期艰苦的磨练。在以后的篇章里，将继续分析片语使用、选词、句子结构和篇章开头结尾方面的错误。